Bullying is an issue that has been faced by a lot of youths in the Philippines. As of 2019, a study showed that at least 6 in 10 Filipino students have experienced being bullied regularly which is nearly 3 times higher than those of developed countries. (ABS-CBN News, 2019) Oftentimes, those who are getting bullied, and never the ones who are bullying, are those we focus on. It’s sometimes hard to understand where the bullies are coming from. While bullying is not tolerable, it's still important to identify the underlying issues that bring about bullying amongst teenagers, and even adults at times.
It is important to keep in mind that bullying should never be tolerated. However, we can at least try to understand where the bullies are coming from and the reason why they are bullying in the first place. People are not born heroes or villains; they're created by the environment around them and that’s why understanding how and why a bully uses aggressive behavior is key to knowing how to handle the situation. There are tons of reasons that can explain why bullies have this kind of behavior. Perhaps the most common reason is how they were raised as a child. One of the main reasons why a child emulates bullying behavior is the fact that they grew up in a bullying environment. Parents may have fostered an aggressive behavior towards solving problems and/or disciplining their kid, which then makes the child think that “might makes right”. (Shore, 2005) This may cause the youth to mirror the behavior he/she has learned from home to the people around him. The fact that youth lacks discipline can also result in bullying behavior. (STOMP Out Bullying, 2021) A child who is not getting the right discipline from his/her guardians might develop a thinking that whatever actions he/she does, it is always right since no one is correcting their bad behaviour.
Another reason for this kind of behavior is the fact that bullies crave control and power that they can’t get in any other way, which can be the main drive for them to bully others. For instance, they might have a feeling of inferiority at home, perhaps because of a bully for a father or a shouting mother, which can cause them to seek out such moments of power. Therefore, when they bully others, they feel a sense of power and superiority against their victims. Others also use bullying as a way to compensate for feelings of inadequacy. (Shore, 2005) They might use bullying as a way to divert others’ attention away from their weaknesses, and instead focus on them gaining power and control over others. Furthermore, bullies feel insecure and have used bullying behavior to feel a sense of entitlement. (STOMP Out Bullying, 2021) They tend to focus or point out other people’s weaknesses because doing this makes them feel better about their own insecurities, and somehow makes them feel entitled to being superior.
As much as parents have a huge part in causing bullying behavior, they also play a huge role in helping a youth unlearn it. Bullies are made, which means they can be unmade. (Shore, 2005) For parents to cultivate compassion in their children, parents themselves must be able to foster empathy, kindness, calmness, and understanding for them. It’s the idea of leading them by example. (Dash, 2019) Making a youth realize the consequences of his/her action and the impact of those on the victims is also a great way to help them feel compassion towards those getting bullied. (PACER.org, 2017) Additionally, it won’t hurt to seek professional help such as counseling especially if the youth is showing early signs of violence. (Dash, 2019)
Bullying is not an issue that’s new to everyone, however, simply condemning bad behaviour won't make the problem go away. A youth’s environment and role models play a huge part in how they handle their emotions and develop as a child. When not properly handled, feelings of inadequacy and weaknesses can cause children to lash out and lose control of themselves. I think that we all agree that whatever reason a bully has for their behavior, it is not enough to excuse their actions. Nevertheless, by knowing and understanding the reasons why these bullies become bullies, an action might be done to prevent them from manifesting this kind of behavior in the first place. This might not be how we would normally look at a bullying issue, but approaching it this way might actually help us resolve this issue in a way that addresses both the victim and the bully. Maybe it’s time that we look at things from a rather different perspective.
Sources:
Dash, S. (2019). Identifying and helping your teen unlearn the bullying behavior. Yes, it’s possible. Retrieved from: https://artofparenteen.com/identifying-bullying-behaviour/
Domingo, K. (2019). 6 in 1-0 Pinoy bullied in school: study. Retrieved from: https://news.abs-cbn.com/news/12/14/19/6-in-10-pinoy-teens-bullied-in-school-study
Healthdirect. Bullying. Retrieved from:
National Centre Against Bullying. Definition of bullying. Retrieved from: https://www.ncab.org.au/bullying-advice/bullying-for-parents/definition-of-bullying/
Shore, K. Understanding the Bully. Retrieved from: https://www.educationworld.com/a_curr/shore/shore072.shtml
STOMP Out Bullying. Understanding Why Kids Bully. Retrieved from: https://www.stompoutbullying.org/understanding-why-kids-bully/
PACER.org (2017). What are some strategies for adults to redirect bullying behavior?. Retrieved from: https://www.pacer.org/bullying/info/questions-answered/bullying-behavior.asp
Comments