As a teenage girl, I grew up in an environment where achievements beget higher expectations and therefore higher pressure. Since I am the eldest, expectations for me are a lot higher than my siblings. I understand that my parents just want the best for us, however, the problem lies in the fact that their desire for my success puts tons of pressure on me, on top of the pressure I get from my academics. When pushed to my limit, things won’t turn out for the best. It will often turn out for the worst.
A teen often feels enough pressure from their academics. The pressure of getting high grades, the need to have multiple extracurriculars, and the need to compete with peers are some of the many internal pressures students have to juggle to have a successful academic life. Amplifying these pressures, are those parents who place mountains of expectations on their children. “You should get grades higher than the last time” or “You should be on the top of your class” are just some of the most common phrases parents say that can add to the pressures that a teen already feels. A school is already a competitive place, having a teen face the same competitive mindset at home is not at all a healthy lifestyle.
It is understood that parents want their children to succeed. Nevertheless, when teens start to face such high expectations and too much pressure, these good intentions often lead to bad outcomes. For instance, if a teen continuously feels pressured and feels like they need to achieve high grades constantly, they will often sacrifice their sleep or rest, which then causes sleep deprivation. They may also experience the effects of burnout. Furthermore, teens might excessively worry because they might feel like they need to always prove their worth. For instance, when teens get a high grade for a semester, worrying about getting high grades for the next semester will be the next issue. They might develop a sense of thinking that they always have to have high grades because if not, they are not good enough. Additionally, a great amount of pressure placed on teens leads to anxiety which may later develop into something serious such as depression or other mental illnesses. Teens who are under academic stress are at a higher risk of developing depression than those who do not experience academic stress. (Arul, Rajkumar, Thirunavukarasu, 2015). Worst case scenario, when these pressures get out of hand, a teen might resort to cheating rather than learning.
How can we prevent all this from happening? There are tons of things parents can do to let their children know that you want the best for them without putting them under tons of pressure. Instead of expecting high grades from them, parents can encourage their children to do their best. In this case, teens will feel motivated instead of pressured. Additionally, focusing on the learning that teens get from school rather than the grades they obtain can also help teens enjoy the learning process while also acquiring new knowledge. (Adelphi Psych Medicine Clinic) Providing a child a safe space to feel supported and encouraged is also advisable. According to a study made by Tang and Davis-Kean (2015), more cognitively stimulating homes predict higher literacy and math achievement in contrast to the parental endorsement of punitive strategies.
As for teens, there are various ways on how we can handle stress properly. Maintaining healthy well-being is one thing. Getting the appropriate amount of sleep as well as doing physical activities such as exercising can be of much help. It might also be helpful to talk it out with people you trust.
Academic pressure, when partnered with parental expectations, can have underlying effects on teens’ well-being as a whole. When these two add up, it can be a perfect recipe for chronic stress. Although we know that parents want nothing but the best for their children, too high of expectations can push teens to their limits. We should always keep in mind that there is a fine line between caring and caring too much. One must know when to hold back because too much of anything can be dangerous.
Sources:
Adelphi Psych Medicine Clinic. Pressure For High Grades: The Damage Parents Could Be Causing Kids. Retrieved from: https://adelphipsych.sg/the-damage-parents-could-be-doing-by-pressuring-kids-to-get-high-grades/
American Psychological Association. (2019). How to help children and teens manage their stress. Retrieved from: https://www.apa.org/topics/child-development/stress
Arul, J., Thirunavukarasa, M., Rajkumar, R. (2015). Academic Stress and Depression among Adolescents: A Cross-sectional Study. Retrieved from: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/274643692_Academic_Stress_and_Depression_among_Adolescents_A_Cross-sectional_Study
Morin, A. (2020). The Danger of Putting Too Much Pressure on Kids. Retrieved from: https://www.verywellfamily.com/the-dangers-of-putting-too-much-pressure-on-kids-1094823
Sinha, A. (2016). Parental pressure: A fine line between caring and caring too much. Retrieved from: https://www.thejakartapost.com/life/2016/05/02/parental-pressure-a-fine-line-between-caring-and-caring-too-much.html
Tang, S., Davis-Kean, P. E., (2015). The association of punitive parenting practices and adolescent achievement. Retrieved from: https://doi.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Ffam0000137
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